I’ve always believed God would choose for me and I still do because he keeps revealing this to me. Personally, I’d like him to choose for me because I’m short-sighted.

As long as I can’t see the future and only He can, then I wouldn’t want to put my future in my hands. I would rather put it in His hands, and have him navigate the course of my life.

He seems to be doing this pretty well. He’s such a professional because only God has the manual to his creation. Therefore, He’s the only one capable of knowing what should work and what wouldn’t.

You can read up on this post where I share scriptural references of God choosing spouses for us.

Does God tell us who to marry?

People change

As humans we evolve, either for the better or for the worse. It’s the same reason why we have seasonal friendships. Because the things you liked two years ago changed with time.

When I was in Elementary School, I wanted to be an astronaut that would one day fly into space. As I grew older, I thought of becoming a Lawyer because I had attributes inclined towards that area. But afterwards, I became a Pharmacist.

Fast forward to 2020 where I’m currently working as a Part-time teacher.

So as humans we change and our appreciation for things grow or decline with time. There were people I rolled with years ago and we are no longer close today.

We evolve. Some towards Christ, and some towards something else, because no one remains the same.

No human remains neutral.

This is why we must desire God’s will as well. Because he knows Man’s heart and all that we are capable of. I’m not saying choosing God’s way would mean a perfect marriage, but he won’t give you more than what you can handle.

If you marry someone he hasn’t given you, then you’d only be putting unnecessary burden on yourself.

What if the person changes and decides to let go? What if he stops loving God? But if you choose his will, when things don’t turn out as you envisioned, you can report him to God or use it as a stepping stone to become like Christ.

Besides you are rest assured that you and your spouse are heading to God together.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of THOSE WHO LOVE HIM, who have been called according to his purpose.

romans 8:29

When we Love God, we will gladly accept His choice for us, knowing that obeying Him translates to worship.

God is a good Father that wants the best for His children. But if we choose flesh, we are walking outside love and will end up using flesh to sustain the relationship.

His will, His Destination

When God brings a man and a woman together, it’s far from the perfect picture. It’s two imperfect humans coming together to birth God’s perfection; A transformation of sinners into saints.

The fusion of both personalities evolving to become Christ.

When iron sharpens iron, magic happens.

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

proverbs 27:17

God will never give you a perfect man or woman. His plan is to enable the two of you rub off each other so you can become better and stronger together.

The goal is to become less carnal and more Christlike; to be less selfish and put others first.

God’s plan isn’t Bellanaija wedding but Christ’s wedding. This is the image God has in mind when he brings two people together.

So a marriage is like a miracle. It’s a confirmation that One day, God will return to take his bride. It’s a reflection of God’s dream.

This is why divorce can never be God’s will. At the same time, God won’t force everyone to accept his will.

A Salvation Process

So far we’ve been talking about Salvation as a process. God’s will from Genesis to Revelations is that ALL men be saved to the uttermost.

So whoever we marry can make or marr us.

When God is matchmaking people, His goal is salvation. He’s matching us with someone who will fulfil His dreams of becoming like Christ.

For this is why we exist. -Romans 8:29

Our spouses are meant to sharpen us until we reflect the image of Christ. As a Christ representative, your husband should be the Priest and Leader in the home. So he’s washing you with the water of the word and guiding your feet to God.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

ephesians 5:25-28

Ladies! The evidence of a Man’s love for you isn’t buying you flowers or what any unbelieving man can do. Flowers and romance is lovely! Awesome even. But God’s love is more than that. Real Love is more than Hollywood’s scripted romance.

A man’s love for you is revealed in How he obeys God to love you appropriately.

He must be able to wash you and present you blameless before Christ.

Not all men can do this.

As a man, your wife is helping you to achieve God’s dreams. Whoever you marry must be qualified to make you Christlike.

As a woman, God would expect you to submit to your husband the way a man submits to Christ. This is why we cannot afford to marry an unbeliever as Christians.

Why?

Because they can’t understand God’s purpose for marriage and they will only treat you the way they understand, not the way God desires.

Besides whom do you want to run to when things stop working?

Can I marry any believer?

I hope to write a full post on this but in following God’s plan for our lives, we cannot marry any Christian. This is because there are people in the body of Christ who aren’t interested in God’s will.

They believe God is there to cater to their dreams like I did in the past. And they are only looking out for carnal benefits in people so their future is secure.

Some believers use God to sponsor their idols or goals and not everyone is following Jesus daily. You need a spouse that prioritizes God’s will above everything else. A man that daily leans in for God’s voice will be able to lead you until you come out better and refined as Christ desires.

Ladies, don’t marry a guy just because of the prospects you see. A man who has prospects today may crumble tomorrow when circumstances present themselves. Because they will.

So you must allow God choose for you and you’ll be glad you did. Guys! Don’t marry a lady because she has the most beautiful shape with great job and money. All these things don’t last on Earth and have no eternal value.

Unbelievers marry like this because their judgements are based on what they can see, not faith.

They live and marry outside God’s will for them, because they don’t know better.

Now, not all of us will get this at first, but there’s room for growth and there’s Grace to keep trying till we get it.

Bloom with Love. Xx!