5 things to do when you're feeling discouraged
What do you do when you're feeling discouraged? How do you overcome discouragement when it comes knocking on your door?
There are days when it feels hard to read the word and sometimes when I do, it feels mysterious and locked up. Sometimes my mind is in so much chaos I can’t even focus. This leaves me discouraged and if it lingers, anxiety and depressive thoughts crawl in, especially on days that feel so uncertain and things aren’t going the way I envisioned them to go.
I know in situations like this I'm not alone and in order to encourage others out there who may be facing the same thing.
Indulge in Christ-centred messages
It could be so tempting to watch a movie or binge on a Netflix series as a form of escape, but I noticed that the aftermath doesn’t make me feel better. In the past, I would find solace in something other than Christ and this left me wanting more and less satiated. Overtime, God has been helping me to lean into him more. He wants to be my soul’s escape from this degenerative world. So whenever you feel discouragement crawling in, rather than indulge your flesh and feelings, spend time listening to Christ-centric messages. Your heart may not be in the position to grasp all that’s being said, but if you keep doing it, the spirit of the message will connect with your spirit and bring to life every dead cell that’s too slow and reluctant to respond to God.
Look away from yourself
One of my most discouraging moments in life was when I kept looking at myself. The moment I took my eyes away from God’s righteousness and greatness, I could see all my failures, shortcomings, disappointments, rejections, and many things that remind me of my humanity and how far I am away from transforming into the image of Christ. I felt so discouraged because I was plagued with thoughts that I just couldn’t be like Jesus. In a glimpse I could see how pure Jesus was and when I looked back at my wretchedness, I wondered how it would be possible to catch up. I wondered how Jesus could even believe someone like me could look exactly like him.
But the moment I looked away from my ability and looked unto Jesus, it didn’t feel so overwhelming as it initially did. No wonder scripture says in Hebrews 12:2:
Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
We currently live in a narcissistic culture that constantly preaches self-love above everything else and automatically discourages us from looking unto Jesus. In a world saturated with self, it’s easy to lose focus of Jesus and His plans for our lives. I noticed that whenever I try to figure things out in my own power and believe I can do it all by myself, I feel the chaos raging within and it all comes crashing down on me. But the moment I let myself settle into God’s plan for me, and I accept his grace to live each day as it comes, it doesn’t feel so overwhelming anymore. I’ve discovered that most of life’s solution is by looking unto Jesus and away from myself. Like C.S Lewis said,
Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ, and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.
I am not enough and that’s okay. God is enough for me and I will abide in His truth and love until I am whole.
Sing
You may wonder why you need to sing when you're feeling discouraged, but the right music can lighten up your soul.
Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.
Have you ever had days when you find it hard to smile or find happiness in whatever is going on around you? On days like that, I turn on music to remind me of God’s love and goodness even when I don’t ‘feel’ like it. Some days I just hum trusting my feelings and body to catch up with the spirit of God living inside of me.
Here's a post on how to stay grateful in hard times
C.S Lewis once said, "Never let your happiness depend on something you may lose.'
This is something that differentiates us from unbelievers. Our happiness does not lie with men or things happening around us. Our happiness lies in the fact that God loves us and He keeps looking out for us in this chaotic world.
And what does a joyful person do? Sing! Your voice might croak but just keep singing.
Even in your singing, laugh. People may think you're insane, but who cares anyway?
Paul and Silas were in prison and they sang. If you can't sing, hum. If you’re still enough, you’ll be able to touch the melody within and move your feet to dance.
Recently I found myself dancing while brushing my teeth. Some of the plans and expectations I’d had for myself hadn’t worked out, but that night I just found myself dancing happily without a care in the world.
That’s what the joy of the Holy Spirit does. Because he’s enough reason for us to dance.
Confide in your spiritual friends
Sometimes we talk to the wrong people who don't make us feel any better. Sometimes, it can even result in gossip and all sorts that should not be found in the midst of God's children. We must learn how to engage with fellow believers that will awaken the life in us.
There are certain people I would talk to and I would just feel the presence and joy of the Lord while talking. I would be motivated to seek God more and spend more time in prayer. Perhaps I was initially discouraged, but speaking with a fellow Christ follower sends a spark inside me and I suddenly feel encouraged again to stay the course.
Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night.
Psalm 1:1-2
Fellowship with the Brethren
It’s so easy to see the church as a building when it’s a community of believers (inclusive of you and me) who make up the church. The church is the body of Christ, and everyone has a part to play, no matter how invisible or insignificant it looks. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:25
No man is an island. Even Jesus had disciples through his journey on earth.
There are times we ask questions that need answers, we need to hear God's word to us through a pastor/preacher. To work out humility in us, God could also put the answer to our discouragement in someone that we meet in church. But if our heart is wrongly positioned against the church (due to past hurts or whatever reason we have), we will wallow in discouragement.
Paul was not alone in his outreach. He had people around him. He was not superman and it's very easy to get discouraged when you have no one around you.
Some people have found themselves in terrible situations because they sought counsel from the world. We need to understand that the dead cannot provide counsel to the living.
It should be the other way around.
Perhaps the church offended you and this drove you to seek help from outsiders. But we must be willing to give God and people a second chance and open our hearts to love.
The church is not a museum for good people, it's a rehab center for all kinds of people who come to seek the face of Jesus, so expect to meet different kinds of people including mixed multitudes.
You and I know what we seek. We know who we serve, we know who our heart yearns for and so let that be your judge.
Pray
There were seasons when I felt so confused I was unsure of what to do. I battled discouragement, anxiety and overwhelming feelings. But the moment I engaged with a spiritual friend of mine, I knew what I had to do. Pray. At first, I struggled because for some strange reason, I thought God wasn’t eager to help me. I had been going through a tough season and I just felt trapped and clueless. So that morning when I went on my knees and I started to sing in the only way I could, I started to sob. Not able to contain it anymore, I broke into tears, asking God to help me because I really needed him to help me so I don’t go insane.
You need to remember that God is your father. He birthed you not to discourage you but to see you through your journey in life.
Tell him what you like and don't like about the situation around you. Over time, I realized that talking to God about my deepest feelings eases my burden. Because He hears me. He knows me, sees me, and loves me more than I could ever love myself.
When you're done praying, spend time on his word and engage with it. Meditate. Start confessing the truth of his word into yourself and your situation.
Anything that doesn't align with God's word is a lie and so flush it out. A lie is whatever contradicts God's word about you. Remind yourself of God's promises and pray without ceasing, because prayer provides us with strength the world cannot provide.
Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruninghooks into spears: let the weak say, I am strong.
Joel 3:10