To know the one God has for you, you must be willing to open your heart to God’s will. Knowing God’s will depends on how much we have built a relationship with God over time and how much we are willing to spend time in His presence. As easy as it sounds, there are many factors that could complicate an easy process.

This is because God is pure and we aren’t. And because of this we may find ourselves coming up with a list that is more physical than spiritual.

So what are the things to look out for in the One? How do you know he’s the one?

God’s approval

While there are so many articles online that reveal 101 signs to know if someone is meant for you, the most important way to know God’s will for you is His approval.

What exactly is God saying?

Are you 100% clear in your spirit that God is pointing to this person?

Has God confirmed it through your spiritual friends and family? What about your spiritual authority? These questions are important because in the mouth of two or three witnesses, truth is established. Also marriage in the christian community is not a lone decision. You need a community to support, guide, and counsel you.

You also need people that can judge the person’s character in your absence.

Now you may wonder, what about peace? Isn’t that enough?

But I’m here to tell you peace is not enough. Because the heart of man is deceitful and when we really like something, we’d definitely have peace about it. And if you ‘push’ God enough, he will leave you to do your will.

Just like Balaam in the Bible: Numbers 22

God’s first response was No. But because he wasn’t content with that answer, he went to ask God again and God said Yes. The answer he got was due to what was already in his heart because we see throughout the rest of the story that it was never God’s will.

If you’re unsure about it, feel free to wait on it. Waiting tries things, no matter how ‘good’ they look on the outside.

There was a time in my life I met someone that felt so much like the One. Everything he did felt ‘God-ordained’. We just clicked and it seemed God was giving His approval. I had so much peace about it.

But after submitting it to the spiritual authority over me, I was told to wait it out.

After waiting, I discovered it wasn’t God. A few months after waiting, God made me see how my emotions had drowned out his voice in the first place. Since then, I’ve been learning to spiritually control my emotions before they end up ruining me.

That situation ended up being a learning curve for me. God’s voice became a priority for me terms of relationships, and not my assumption of His will.

When God gives His approval, then be certain that’s God’s best for you and the package is complete.

Consistency

I believe if God is giving you a go-ahead, then everything else will fall into place, regardless of how your mind feels about it, even if it’s not in the package you expect. Because God’s choice is the best.

But just in case you’re still in the process of getting clarity in your spirit, check their consistency.

Is he/she consistent with his words and feelings for you?

Are they sure of what they want?

To know the One God has for you, weigh his actions against God’s word.

I still get puzzled when people talk about being in a ‘situationship.’ Because I don’t understand why you would be with someone that isn’t vocal or sure about his feelings for you. I also don’t see any reason why you would be assuming someone loves you if he hasn’t made it CLEAR that he loves you and wants to marry you.

Perhaps in the world they play games. But as Christians, we run from any sign of cunningness and dishonesty.

Check his character because actions speak louder than words.

For example, if you love Jesus, you obey his commandments. Period.

The same with courting. If he loves you, he will tell you he loves you and back it up with actions. Not just gifts, but putting effort into knowing you, your personality and what makes you tick.

He will respect and honor you.

Responsibility

We currently live in an age where people are shying away from responsibilities. I’m aware adulting is not easy, but you need a Priest not a baby or someone that is emotionally unstable. Neither do you need a guy that’s looking for someone to offer him emotional sympathy. This is because an unstable person will not be able to grow a home with you. God will be entrusting children into your hands and you will give account of them.

A stable person won’t give excuses or transfer the blame to you when things go wrong. I know that we have our bad seasons and we are all still growing, but whoever God is going to place in your life will be someone he can entrust his child with. Someone that can take responsibility when things go wrong, admit his failures and be eager to grow.

Is he responsible enough to follow Jesus and His ways?

Do you find yourself giving excuses for him ALL the time? Now don’t get me wrong. Love is ever ready to give excuses for others. But be aware you’re going to marry this person and stay married for the rest of your life. You will definitely give excuses for them as God demands. But just make sure you’re being led by God and not flesh.

You can read more on that here.

Transparency

Not many people are honest and open about their feelings. Some are even deceitful and will pretend. I’m uncomfortable when I find it hard to understand someone, especially when I’ve done all that I can to know you. When a person tries so hard to be less understood, then I know flesh is behind it.

There’s a difference between being deep and pretending to be deep. I’m learning to know the difference.

There was a season of my life where I encountered some guys that felt deep due to the big words they used on social media and the scriptures they used to back up their claims.

But I grew up spiritually and I had to stop myself from literally rolling my eyes the next time I encountered them. I realised that many of these people knew nothing about God! All they knew was something beneficial to their flesh and not even spiritual!

But because I was ignorant of scriptural truths myself, it was easy for me to be intimidated and I was gullible.

This is the reason why I emphasize spiritual growth above all else. Above marriage and career goals. Above anything you desire in life, desire to grow and become like Jesus.

Are you wondering how Jesus could discern some people to be pure and others to be evil? He was spiritually matured.

The more I grow spiritually, I can discern some falsehood in people and I just try to avoid them.

If you grow spiritually, you’ll discern when someone is being transparent and when they’re hiding behind a cloak of ‘Christianity’ You will know if the relationship is worth pursuing or if you should let go.

Your definition of marriage will change and you’ll begin to desire it because the end goal is to have Christ formed in you.

Here are other posts on relationships:

5 reasons why you must not settle for less

Benefits of getting married later

Benefits of accepting God’s will in your relationship

Is it okay to marry any believer?

Bloom with Love. Xx!