As Valentine’s day is fast approaching, there’s tendency for you to feel your single season as a burden.
Perhaps you feel the tinge of jealousy as you celebrate your married and engaged friends.
You hope for the day someone will swoon over you and declare their love for you on social media.
Or if you’re like me, you’d like to blush in private as you bask in the knowledge of someone loving you and you loving them in return.
While I understand marriage is meant for God’s glory and a means to an End (Christ and His bride), it’s hard for your hormones to remember God when your heart yearns for a partner or a cure for the loneliness within.
I’ve heard people say,
“Oh maybe it’s because you’re thinking about it. If you put your mind away from it and just focus on God, your spouse will show up.”
While I would like to appreciate when people say this, because I believe they are doing so with good intentions, not all single people are desperate for partners. We aren’t always thinking about it. Besides, there’s a time and season for it.
Yes we desire marriage, but we don’t sit daydreaming about partners 24/7.
We want them because we’d be lying if we said we were immune to marriage.
We would appreciate a relationship that leads to marriage because who doesn’t want to love and be loved?
But we are learning to follow God’s leading, seek his face above all and maximize our seasons.
Maybe you’re single this season and you really want to just let go and live life one step at a time, I hope this post helps you.
My prayer is that you’ll live your life to the fullest and be brave, strong and kind as you fulfil destiny.
I’m also here to let you know You’re not alone.
Some of the ways you can maximise your single season are as follows:
Learn about yourself
If there’s one thing I’m glad about my single season, it’s the fact that I didn’t get married in my twenties.
Yep! I said it.
In the past, I didn’t feel this way.
But the more I learn about God, the more I see myself through His image and I’m beginning to understand how much of a mess I was.
Even as a Christian.
In the past, it was quite challenging for me to hear God or understand Him the way I do now and I was clueless about the role of my soul and spirit in my body.
Imagine not knowing my destiny and purpose as a believer of Jesus? I was hardly following Jesus.
Unknowingly, I was using God to sponsor my own ambitions
But the older I get, the wiser I’m becoming.
I’m more cautious about choosing friendships and more so, a life partner.
In the past, it was all about getting married before 30.
I made friends as my emotions got the best of me.
But now that I am past that age, I’m more about making friends intentionally and discovering my weaknesses so I can be better.
It’s easier to assess yourself as a single person. Sooner or later, you begin to know what you need and what you don’t in your life.
You are able to identify your feelings and resolve them on time.
I love watching godly relationship videos on Youtube. There was a time I used to follow some godly couples online.
But I reduced the time I spent watching them. At a point, I even stopped following some of them.
God is my goal, not marriage. I had to keep reminding myself of this truth.
Not that I have anything against couple videos, but I realized as good as they were, they were painting this picture perfect image about relationships and marriage and my desire for a husband grew intense.
I know God has good plans for me, so I don’t want to awaken love at the wrong time or question my season.
I also know marriage isn’t perfect. It takes work and lots of practice.
If you know watching some relationship videos or seeing some images on your social media feed is affecting your heart or making you question God’s timing, then please let go/unfollow.
Don’t let anything or anyone hinder your race towards God.
Focus on your Physical and Spiritual Growth
Not every married person is matured. Physically and Spiritually. Some people rush in and rush out, while some rush in and bear the painful burden of regret.
Not everyone who gets married is ready for it. But that’s not our business.
Our business is that as singles, we are reaping the benefits of getting married later.
Imagine attaining Christlikeness to an extent before getting married? Less stress, more love, maturity and transparent communication and understanding.
Physical growth also pertains to how we treat others and material things.
Some people exalt material things above God or human beings. I see lots of crappy things on the internet and it saddens me at how far people are willing to go to become popular.
Some people are more interested in becoming viral or breaking the internet.
A matured person isn’t moved by peer pressure but doing God’s pleasure.
We must begin to learn this in our single season and build on it.
Add value to yourself
This season is to build you up for the next season whatever that may be. Don’t waste it. Adding value to yourself spiritually and physically is crucial in this season.
Marriage is good, but it isn’t the cure to loneliness. God is the cure.
Spiritual Values to Build:
- Spend time with God.
- Build a daily devotion with Him.
- Study the word until it becomes part of you.
- Allow the HolySpirit become your best-friend. Trust him in everything. Engage and involve him in everything.
- Attend fellowship.
- Be part of your local church/fellowship. Make friends with Godchasers.
- Get involved in church and serve.
- Pray about everything.
Physical values to build
Explore different skills through prayer and guidance of the Holyspirit.
I had forgotten my love for baking until I moved to another country. I love baking for myself and even for others.
After watching Youtube videos, I failed and tried again until I got better at it. Now I make my own banana bread, cookies, breakfast muffins and there are many more I hope to learn with time.
In my single season, I learned to make my hair myself. In the past I couldn’t and was afraid to. But I’m hoping to perfect my skills in this art too. For myself first, and then for any future babies.
Be intentional. Perfect your skill. I love writing and I’m learning to be better at it spiritually and physically.
As an online teacher, my communication skills have gotten better. I’ve learned so much physically and spiritually.
Thanks to the HolySpirit that’s constantly helping me to be a better listener.
In the past, I would just react on my emotions.
There are so many things you can do. So much value you can add to yourself as a human being. Don’t be discouraged if you fail at first. Try and try again.
Learn to manage your finances and every other relationship in your life. Be open to God’s plan when it’s different from yours.
I know all these things don’t replace being in a relationship, but we must occupy our hands with work while our hearts are occupied with Christ. So when the enemy tries to tempt us, there would be no space for him to settle.
Cheers to every single person reading this post. Here’s to beautiful days ahead. Enjoy your season to the full.
Always remember that Abba loves you and when the time is right, He will come through for you.
Bloom with Love. Xx
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