To overcome jealousy, we must understand it operates in stages. We must consistently seek God’s help until it is totally eliminated. This is because jealousy is seated deep within our souls.
Jealousy is an ugly and unpleasant bug and I have been bitten many times.
I remember feeling this way about someone and hating it so much. I felt helpless because it just sprang up from my heart without a switch or permission.
I’ve heard the world say healthy competition is good but for Christians, the jealousy lingua shouldn’t be found in our dictionary. We are meant to overcome jealousy whenever it presents itself.
If there’s anything I’ve been trusting God for in my seasons of trusting and waiting on him, it’s for Him to grant me the antidote to this green eyed monster inside me responsible for separating beautiful friendships, creating bitterness in hearts and putting distance between people that should be smashing their God chasing goals together.
So far God has been helping me to overcome jealousy and I am so grateful. I’m also here to help others that may have found themselves being jealous of a close friend because they have what you don’t have.
If there’s one thing I know about Jealousy, it makes you covet things God isn’t planning to give you yet. You feel cheated and anxious, comparison crawls in and creates discontent within. This ends up soiling your fellowship with Jesus.
While I wish there was some magic word or spell that could enable you overcome jealousy, or state 101 reasons on how to keep jealousy at bay, there’s just one solution to these poisonous substance in Man.
Growth as a result of obedience
Growth is the number one antidote for overcoming jealousy.
There were things I battled with before my waiting season but as I kept listening to Christ-centric messages and obeyed God, I’d check within and realize God had detonated some buttons that made me react negatively in the past.
Not to sound all sci-fi, but the things that made me jealous or feel left out before began to look strange to me.
I thought to myself
“I can’t believe I felt left out. Everything here has an expiry date, so why was I chasing vanity before? Why was I competing? Even the impact I was dying to make before feels so pointless without Christ being formed in me. So why was I fighting God in the past when He asked me to let go of my old blog and the things I held dear?”
Because my goal was Redefined. My purpose became clear. Christ became my goal. My reason for existing, my purpose for living.
Without me, you can DO Nothing.john 15:5
And everything I do, God has to lead me or I would be wasting my time. It would be Nothing in His eyes. No matter if I became a bestseller today, go to the best schools or become a top influencer tomorrow.
If I marry today and have triplets next year. Perhaps I travel around the world before 40 and explore all my dream countries.
There’s no point if I get those things and they don’t form Christ within me.
Growth eliminates all our flaws.
The only jealousy Paul had was to preserve the Corinthian church as a spotless bride for Christ. Because he’d mature. Infact he scolded these same people in 1 Corinthians for acting carnal.
Carnality/childishness was displayed in form of envy, jealousy, and striving. This is why we must overcome jealousy through growth.
Growth helps us to stay focused on the Goal set before us. We are no longer confused about our destiny and calling as Sons because we know there’s a race to run and jealousy will slow us down.
The reason why we feel jealous of others is because we feel they have more ‘vanity’ than us.
Vanity in terms of more earthly goods or recognition. I call it vanity because it’s an illusion.
Here today, gone tomorrow. No one really leaves a legacy in an expiring world, except for those in whom Christ is formed.
The world and its desires pass away, but whoever DOES the WILL OF God LIVES FOREVER.1john2:17
Growth helps us to see things CLEARLY in their form.
Vanity is vanity. Nothing more.
Perhaps your own problem isn’t vanity. Mine was a medley of both.
It might be in terms of spiritual gifts or the things earthly men call purpose which should be called activities.
But I’d rather be unseen and have Christ formed, than be seen and be ashamed when Jesus returns and meets me empty (No Christ formed).
I am not saying jealousy has been completely eliminated from my life, but deep within I know I have made progress.
And God was/is responsible for this progress.
While growth takes time, here are things you could pick along in your growth process:
Keep in mind that everything is vanity.
Christ is the real substance. Whenever I find myself battling the feelings of jealousy, I tell myself I have more spiritual growing up to do.
Tough love, but it works. I must overcome jealousy phase by phase.
Submit that desire to God. Be open about it.
Keep submitting your desires to God whenever it springs up. Also check your heart and reasons for the feeling. The moment you’re able to identify your reasons, you make progress.
Disobey the jealous feeling.
Go forward and congratulate your friend. Let them know you’re open to serving them and being there for them anytime they need you. This is golden and makes Satan sooo mad!
Pray for them.
In their absence and presence. Bless them too and do it sincerely with joy in your heart.
Be open about it to a God-chaser friend.
First of all, be honest about your feelings. Don’t live in denial or try to ‘confess’ it away. It doesn’t get resolved like that.
Like the bible says, ‘confess your sins to one another.’
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effectivejames 5:16
Jealousy is a soul disease. By confessing to our friends and praying about it together, God heals us within.
I recall a season where this jealousy feeling overwhelmed me I found it hard to worship God. It was so bad that affirmations didn’t help.
It felt as if they’d released one demon from hell to keep whispering toxic words to me. I had to call one of my close friends immediately, shared how I felt and the moment she started speaking, encouraging and reminding me of my purpose, I felt better again and the feelings subsided.
Speaking to a non-judgmental person about it will help us overcome jealousy. You need someone you trust and is on the same path with you (Godchaser). Not someone that will fan the flame, laugh at you, gossip about you or even worse, justify your feelings.
Learn to see your friend’s victory as yours.
Our friends aren’t our competitors! I know this isn’t easy to act on, but through the help of the HolySpirit, you can take time to re-adjust your heart.
As Christians, competition isn’t part of our vocabulary. Jesus was always talking about His father, Paul was always referring to himself and the other apostles (James, John, Jude, Peter) a lot in his epistles. Because he knew that although he wrote about three quarter of the epistles, without the others in his life, he wouldn’t have gone far.
So his victory was theirs and vice versa. No one was bragging or trying to outdo others. Because in the kingdom, it is NOT about beating the best, but complementing one another and doing amazing things together.
Bloom with Love. Xx!