What are the thoughts that cross your mind when everyone around you is getting married earlier than you?
How do you remind yourself to trust God when getting married has always been something desirable for you, something you’ve always dreamed of as a child?
I recall using the word ‘late marriage’ and the Holy-Spirit chided me on the use of the term. This is because in God’s timing, no one gets married late.
Time and seasons just happen to us all.
We need to see love, marriage, relationships and everything that pertains to our natural lives as something orchestrated by God in his time. This understanding would help us to utilize our seasons better and be productive while at it.
Have you ever wondered why God might be taking His time in your situation? The more I learn about God, the more I discover how very intentional He is.
He isn’t a sadist. He has a plan and a way.
But because our soul is so used to the visible, we find it hard to understand why God would withhold or prolong some things in our lives.
The Holy-Spirit has been ministering to me about the benefits of getting married at a later time (when compared to the average time women marry)
These were His following reasons
For Christ to be formed in Us
While I understand that our New-birth breaks every generational curse or pattern that may be flowing down from our lineages, being born again does not erase some attitudes and traits we inherited from our parents and the world.
We have to keep following Jesus and obeying him till all our flaws are eliminated.
Until we are perfected. 2Peter 1:6-7, Ephesians 4:13, Matthew 5:48
The more we spiritually mature and transform into Christlikeness, the more some ungodly traits will begin to fade away.
Now I am not advocating we have to get perfect before we marry.
That isn’t what I am saying. But I’m imploring us to look on the bright side.
The more we keep getting better in our walk with God, when our spouses meet us, we would be better for it.
Christ would have worked so much on our hearts that some unnecessary drama and behaviours would have been dealt with.
This is why we cannot waste our single years thinking of getting married when we should be doing God’s business.
I want my own family too! This post isn’t an attempt to erase your emotions or feelings. Our emotions are valid and sometimes, I can’t help but wonder what if?
Just because I’m seeking God doesn’t mean the feelings aren’t there, but the HolySpirit keeps helping me prioritize.
He keeps pushing my earthly desires to the backseat so I can focus on fulfilling eternal destiny.
So we cannot waste time on wishing and hoping when there’s so much learning and fellowship we have with our Saviour.
When you marry, you won’t have so much liberty. So spend your time wisely.
Produce Godly Seeds
The world is getting darker and it will keep getting worse. A child can wake up one morning and decide he wants to become a horse.
Children are easily influenced by what they see and hear. Besides that, the god of this world has his own plans and keeps distributing his seeds into hearts of men and women.
When Christ is being formed in us, we will know how to handle or even prevent certain situations.
Our children can grow into Christlike creatures and not what the world or Satan tells them to be.
Their identities will not be messed up by the world.
When we birth children, they wouldn’t fight the kind of battles we fought growing up because God would have worked in us so much.
I want my child to look like Christ. Far above her/his parents.
A biblical example of such a situation is Abraham birthing Isaac.
Abraham had walked so much with God that when Isaac was born, he didn’t have many spiritual battles to fight.
Isaac lived an almost flawless life. He came into all the blessing his father had inherited from God. God had worked and broken Abraham to the point of name change.
Abraham had obeyed God so much that God called him His friend.
It got to a stage where God was like, ‘Can I do anything in secret without letting Abraham know’
And the LORD said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?
Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and through him all the nations of the earth will be blessed. For I have chosen him, so that he will command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, in order that the LORD may bring upon Abraham what He has promised.genesis 18:17-19
Wow such friendship! Abraham had grown to the point where God could trust Him.
This friendship wasn’t developed in months or weeks.
It took years; even when his wife was barren, that didn’t deter Abraham from seeking God.
Thinking of getting married one day? Keep chasing God till your genetic make-up synchronizes with Christ.
To make us mature and teach our children the WAY
Abraham was so developed that he taught Isaac and his household HOW to love God.
Isaac must have watched his father walking with God and desired the same.
When Isaac asked his father for the sacrifice and Abraham was saying something about ‘God will provide,’ if Isaac wasn’t spiritually mature, do you think he would sit down and watch his father tie him and use him as the sacrifice??
He would protest! Isaac was a teenager and his father was an old man. He could rebel, push his father and run away.
If Abraham had taught Isaac to love his dreams and goals above pleasing God, do you think Isaac would SUBMIT to being slaughtered?
As humans, we cannot impart what we don’t have.
As aspiring parents, we cannot give our children the wisdom above who we are.
I don’t need to start saying too much story for my children to do God’s will.
When they LOVE God, and see me walking my talk, they’ll automatically obey me, stay off porn, pre-marital sex, lies, cheating and many other crafty devices tugging at teenagers these days.
If we preach Christ with our lives, there’s no way they won’t follow us with the help of the Holy-Spirit.
Children imitate a lot. They’d rather watch you and learn from you than do as you say.
Besides, we will give account on how we raised them to God.
Enough time to live and discover yourself
Getting married isn’t a competition so please take your time and allow God move on your behalf.
The wedding lasts for one day while a marriage lasts for a lifetime. We must get it right and this comes by trusting God’s timing for our lives.
As humans we are naturally selfish and think of ourselves first. Marriage is a call to die to self.
Forget Hollywood or the social media parade people pull up.
You and your spouse aren’t going to be romancing yourselves every day. I have lived with people before and flaws aren’t pretty.
Friendships get destroyed because of this, families break up because someone was unwilling to bend or compromise.
You may love someone, but are you strong enough to handle their flaws?
Are you willing to stay for better or worse?
You may say yes now, but when you’re in it, it’s a different ballgame.
We must be willing to find contentment in the One even when they offend you. Even when comparison rises and you start wondering if your spouse is God’s will.
Those in the world can opt out whenever they feel like it and do whatever they want. But for Christians, we cannot operate on our feelings.
God’s will is that all men be saved and come to the knowledge of Truth.
A beautiful marriage is God’s will, because a Marriage can save or marr you.
It can also accelerate your purpose of becoming like Christ. So would you rather take your time and get it right?
Or you’d rush into it and miss out on eternal purpose?
Bloom with Love. Xx!
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