How to Overcome Sexual Temptation & live a holy life

We currently live in a hyper-sexualized world where we must constantly fight to overcome sexual temptation. In a world that constantly depicts sex as love and normalizes sex outside God's will, we need to arm ourselves for the journey ahead.

This is because we live in the flesh and Satan will raise all kinds of temptations that look attractive to the flesh.

But we cannot afford to give in. We cannot afford to go back to what God saved us from and is constantly saving us from.

But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it NOT BE ONCE named among you, as BECOMETH saints;

Ephesians 5:3

Understand God designed Sex within marriage for His glory

For it is God’s will that you should be holy: You must abstain from sexual immorality; each of you must know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

As Christians, it would be pretentious to dismiss topics pertaining to our sexuality. This is because our sexuality is part of us.

It's not abstract. God didn't close his eyes when He included our sexuality in creation.

He made us sexual beings, but for His glory.

The problem with giving in to sexual temptation is that it shows a lack of self control on our part.

We are putting our lust above God and allowing ourselves to be led by our flesh, not the HolySpirit.

We sin when we indulge in it outside his glory and seek our gratification outside his will. This will make us miss out on the kingdom of God

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:19-21

So what do you do when ungodly thoughts bombard your mind? How do you overcome sexual temptation when it comes knocking? Perhaps it's that season or time of the month where your hormones seem to think contrary to the Love of God.

How do you keep your body as holy vessels and your mind a conducive place for the HolySpirit?

This post covers fornication in the heart because fornication doesn't have to be physical for it to be sinful. There are people who read erotic books, watch pornography and masturbate to ease the tension.

This just goes to show how sin begins with the mind, builds up and then waits for the perfect occasion to work it out.

Jesus said

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:28

You are what you feed on

We all grew up in different environments. Some of us grew up with histories of abuse while some of us consumed toxic content dished out by Satan and the world.

These things have formed us over time, even after the Newbirth. So they tend to spill into our present-day lives.

They also rise in times of temptation, reminding us of the things we gladly enjoyed in our times of ignorance.

These things won't automatically go away. To tear them down, we have to build something else in their place. So you must be proactive about spending time in God's word which will help you resist temptations and help you put your emotions under when they rise.

Eliminate anything that kindles arousal around you. Music, videos, books, and even harmless couple videos.

Personally, I also stay away from marriage books that explicitly talk about sex.

Yes, sex is good when done right, but awakening love at the wrong time is not the best way to go about things. It will fuel your desire and conjure images of marriage when God hasn't brought your spouse yet.

Binge on the Gospel over and over again

As a growing believer, I've learned over time that any message that sounds good won't cut it for me. This is because not all things are godly.

Not all messages build Christ in men.

The gospel, as simple as it is, is the most potent message that can ever save a man. And for you to be saved, you must understand what Jesus did on that cross. The reason why we falter is that we are still unable to comprehend how powerful the gospel is. We don’t know how much we are loved, so we settle for pig food to satisfy the cravings in our souls, all for us to see how empty we feel at the end of it all.

Do you remember the prodigal son? He was able to find refuge in his father because He remembered how loved he was. Although he’d been satisfying his fleshy cravings, the moment he remembered how loved and privileged he was, he repented and ran home, no longer interested in his old life.

And guess what, the father ran all the way to take him back.

The gospel reminds us that we now have a Father willing to love us out of our sins and into wholeness. There’s a love that goes all the way to save us from our old ways, so why would we be so foolish to go back to pigs’ food when we can have the greatest delicacy of all?

Our love for God compels us to do the right thing. It produces a reverence/fear in us that cringes at the thought of disobeying or grieving the Holy Spirit.

The only reason why a man would cheat on his spouse and vice versa is because he doesn’t love her and is comfortable embarrassing her in public. He doesn’t respect or regard her so he’s comfortable being selfish. When you truly love someone, you’ll like what they like and hate what they hate. You’ll want to do everything and anything to see a smile on their face.

Just like the relationship between Jesus and his Father God. So if you truly love God, you’ll keep yourself because you are not cheap. God is our spouse, so why would you cheat on him? The Godhead spent their sweat and blood(literally) on you.

Don’t let Satan cheapen you.

To thyself be TRUE

I noticed that whenever I’m not true to myself, I become careless. I find myself entertaining ungodly thoughts and I’m no longer diligent in keeping my heart. For example, I know that subscribing to Netflix would do more harm than good to my soul. I know there are some books, songs, or movies I shouldn’t see. I know there are some people I shouldn’t hang out with because anytime I do, they tend to evoke some sexual feelings inside me. I’m aware that there are certain conversations I should not be entertaining (even with some believers) but when I neglect all of this and tell myself ‘I’ve got this’, I put myself in grave danger.

The Holy Spirit knows us better than we know ourselves, and in his gentle voice, he’s like ‘Nope, you ain’t gat this.’ Run. Flee. Shut it down. NOW

Don’t lie to yourself. It’s better we’re safe than sorry. Better you’re seen as an outcast in the world than prey for Satan. Besides, if you cherish your relationship with God more, you’ll discover there are many things not worth it.

All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.

1Corinthians 10:23

No matter how tempting or glamorous it may look or feel at the time. The end result after indulging always leaves me feeling worse than the beginning. Fellowship would feel harder and that’s the last thing I need for my soul.

Once we acknowledge that we are humans, and sexual ones at that, we’re being true to ourselves. And when the Holy Spirit admonishes us to stay away from certain things, we’ll listen. But if we keep lying to ourselves, we will fall and fail woefully.

Even Joseph (before the law) did not give room for sin. He could have lied to himself that he was strong enough, but he ran away leaving his clothes behind.

That’s to show us how far we must run from sexual sin. It’s not something to be toyed with.

Until I grow into the full measure of the stature of Christ-Ephesians 4:13

Keep building, keep growing, and stay occupied

Do you believe spiritual growth is the answer to all our problems?

I do because the Bible says so. And to overcome sexual temptation, we must keep our hearts fixated on God daily.

For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

Romans 8:6

The difference between someone who keeps falling into sexual temptation when aroused and someone who doesn't is their level of growth and self-control.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.

Galatians 5:22

To permanently overcome sexual temptation, we must be eager for growth and keep pursuing it. The more we grow, you’ll bear fruits as listed above.

The mind of Christ cannot comprehend sex outside God's will. It is submissive to God and it was built to please God.

As we keep growing spiritually, hormones that usually dictate our feelings will submit themselves to God.

Yes, your hormones are real. But God is much more real.

There are days they kick so hard that it feels unbearable or crazy.

As we physically grow older, these feelings grow intense.

I want to let you know I feel you and I can relate.

But God made them and they will bow to Him.

We can only have such authority and power over our bodies when we grow into trees planted by the rivers of water-Psalm 1:3, Jeremiah 17:8

Now you may wonder what is taking God so long or why your body feels ready yet there's no one in sight.

But God is using this to build self-control in you. He has a plan and a way and He knows what He's doing.

Marriage isn't the solution to lust, God is. And to overcome sexual temptation, we must lean into Him daily for strength.

If we haven't learned to control our bodies before marriage, it's not going to be automatic afterward. We need to understand that our spouses won't be available all the time for sex and sexual temptation will still arise.

There are many other things that happen in marriage. We are not going to die if we don't have sex.

Don't let anyone paint sex to be something more than it is. It is God's gift, and it is good but God is better and POWERFUL enough to help you overcome!

You shouldn't become a slave to your feelings.

Pray Pray Pray

Prayer saves us from temptation and unnecessary battles (sexual ones included). Pray always. Pray every day. Occupy your mind and heart by speaking in tongues. Engage your spirit ALL the time. I noticed that when my prayer life got better, it wasn’t easy for ungodly thoughts to linger.

Here’s the thing. We cannot stop ungodly thoughts from straying, but we can be assertive about how far they’re willing to go. Let them know there’s no room for idle shenanigans.

P.S: Did I also mention you could go jogging if symptoms of sexual temptation persist? Try exercising, go for a run, or call a God-chasing friend immediately to talk you out of it.

It helps a lot. wink*

Here's how to handle attraction to the opposite sex

How to Enjoy Spending time with God

Bloom with Love. Xx!