How to stop being insecure and live your best life

We all have our insecurities and it’s so easy to be defined by them. But to stop being insecure about ourselves, we must be willing to lay it all bare and seek healing from the only one who can make us whole.

Insecurity stems from a lack within us and it takes God's love and light to heal and make us whole.

Personally it took me a while but I'm glad that learning is a process.

I was bullied a lot as a child so I grew up believing I was not beautiful enough or good enough.

My insecurities also involved emotional behaviours which encompassed feelings of rejection, fear, despair and shame.

Our insecurities could also motivate us to prove ourselves to people, hoping they see how good we are, how successful we can be just because they made us feel unimportant in the past.

We want to belong somewhere, hoping we can quench that desire to feel needed.

And so we receive instant gratification from the comments, awards, mentions, feedbacks and likes on social media

But if we aren't recognized by the world, we fear will slowly depreciate into a nobody, someone that is easily forgotten.

We love the label behind our names as they somewhat contribute to our self-esteem and make us feel our lives as humans are worth living.

We tend to associate the things we've done to how far we've come.

Mrs, Mother of 3 kids, wife, Harvard Grad, Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer, Teacher, PhD holder, Award winning author, Founder, and so many other titles.

Apparently God thinks differently.

If we let all those things define us, we slowly lose ourselves to them.

Like the facade they are, they can only cover us for so long.

But how long will we let people and the world define us?

How long will we choose man-made labels over whom God has called us to be and made us to be?

Jesus was called a Son of Carpenter but didn't allow the external define him.

God had the choice to allow him be born to Royal parents.

The God of the Universe could have chosen the best hospital for his Son to be born.

He could have chosen the best couple to raise Jesus.

Yet he stooped low. Because those things did not define Him.

And they shouldn't define us too.

So how can you overcome your insecurities and put an end to the self-esteem battles troubling your peace?

Resist the urge to prove your worth

The world is constantly yelling,

'Prove yourself!'

'Let people know you're 'somebody.'

'Be so confident in your potentials as a human being.'

But Jesus whispers

Come and rest in me.

'Your worth is found in me, not in things.'

Jesus didn't prove Himself, neither should we.

When the Pharisees fabricated lies in an attempt to invalidate his resurrection, he didn't bother trying to explain himself to them by appearing to them.

Jesus' self esteem was on a scale of 1000%!

Proving ourselves only shows how much we battle deep issues within.

Unknown to the world, this method of proving our worth reveals our insecurities more and leaves a gaping wound in our soul.

It doesn't soothe the pain, but makes it only worse.

And like a toxic cycle, you'll live the rest of your life, trying to prove yourself to the world.

Every. Single. Time.

And the world doesn't deserve that much attention from you.

It's a waste of soul energy, space and time.

Your soul energy is meant for chasing Christ alone.

Choose God's word over the world

In order to stop being insecure, you must be willing to see God's word as the final word over your feelings and the world's perception of you.

Spiritual growth makes us see clearly and gives us a tough skin to resist thoughts contrary to the thoughts of God.

This is because as we grow, God expects us to focus on His voice alone

Jesus could have listened to Satan's voice when asked to turn the stone to bread.

But he said,

But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

Matthew 4:4

We must seek God's voice and prioritise his will until every other voice fades into the background.

The more we feed on God's word and follow the leading of the Spirit, our hearts begin to change within, and see as Christ sees.

Charity suffers long, and is kind; it envies not; charity BRAG not itself, is not puffed up,

1corinthians 13:4

Assess the depths of your insecurity through the Holy-Spirit

I used to feel unworthy anytime I was not acknowledged for my work.

Perhaps a friend preferred another to me, or a relationship didn't work out.

I kept seeing myself through the lens of others hating myself for falling short.

Maybe I wasn't beautiful enough or good enough.

Perhaps if I found a way to fit the world's description of success and beauty, I would finally be accepted.

People would see I was worth becoming friends with. They would see that I was deserving of love and appreciation too.

But the HolySpirit made me see this was partly due to jealousy and insecurities in my heart and deep seated issues of what I'd experienced growing up.

Seek God's validation above men's validation

Rejection and abuse has a way of marring your perception.

Knowing God and obeying his will has healed me and strengthened me through my seasons

I used to be so emotionally sensitive!

But God healed me and he can heal you too.

In fact He'd heal you so much you wouldn't find it hard to prefer someone else above yourself.

It doesn't dim your light, but reveals how beautiful and strong you are.

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in HONOUR PREFERING one another;

ROMANS 12:10

God has healed me and he's still in the process of doing so.

I am fine with or without the labels.

God is the only standard I need in my life.

Redefine yourself in the light of God's word

So this is what defines me:

I am beautiful because I'm becoming like my Saviour day by day-2Corinthians 4:16

I have no goodness of my own but the One Jesus rubs off on me.

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

proverbs 27:17

I am not validated by any external feat I may have attained.

Jesus is my validation and completion.

A man's validation cannot match His! This is the King of the Universe who wants me!

Does it get better than this? No! He didn't love me because of what I could offer.

He loves me! Took me as I was, messy, flaws and all and chose to beautify me like Jesus.

I did nothing to deserve it. But here I am, basking in His love, grace and promise. Enjoying our fellowship, even in the good and bad days.

I know I'd rather get one 'well-done' from God than a million positive feedbacks from the world!

I have found my worth and my esteem in no other than Christ Jesus. And this is perfect for me.

When we constantly behold the king, we become who he made us to be.

Song of the Day: He knows my Name

by Francesca Battistelli

Photo credit: Nick Owuor

Bloom with Love. Xx!