How to thrive in difficult seasons
Ever wondered how to thrive when going through a difficult season? There were times I wished I didn’t have to go through some seasons, the same way I wished God would scrap winter and leave autumn, spring, and summer. But that would be unrealistic because that’s just the way the world was designed. And as long as we live in this world, under the sun, we’ll have a cycle of seasons.
Since these cycles of seasons are inevitable in our daily lives, how do we thrive when winter hits us? How can we find courage and strength to last when the storms of life threaten to knock us down? The only way to survive would be to brace ourselves and prepare our bodies with the right gear to keep us warm. If we don’t, we risk having frostbite or being bruised or killed by the weather.
The same applies to our life seasons. Since we live in a fallen world where bad things are bound to happen, we must prepare ourselves and guard our minds against the storm when it comes. There were times when a season felt so intimidating and scary I was uncertain how God expected me to make it through when I could barely catch my breath and all I wanted to do was take a break from existing and escape to somewhere safe, somewhere I could catch my breath and remind myself this too shall pass. The following helped me to stay afloat and they will help you too.
Stay on the Word
While this may sound cliche, this was/is what pulled me through my difficult seasons. I had to keep going back to God’s word for reassurance, solace, and comfort. You’ll go through seasons where no one will be able to understand what you’re going through, and you lack the words to explain. Only the Holy Spirit can feel the pain and hurt and only his words are reassuring enough to pull you through. You may be tempted to fall back to your flesh or find escape in something other than the word, but you’ll only return back empty and worse than you initially felt. I would binge on the word in my best translation (amplified) and pray in tongues as much as I could. Because I was in a vulnerable place and the only person that could provide the succor my soul needed was Jesus.
Staying on the word reminds us we aren’t alone, because we have examples of people like Joseph (whose brothers sold him and thought him dead and forgotten. He was also thrown into jail because he wanted to obey God), Abraham, Moses, the 3 Hebrew boys, and many others who went through trials but came out better and stronger because of God. This assures us that no one who follows God wholeheartedly is hopeless.
There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. God is the Light.
Cry if you have to
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried in my difficult seasons. I’ve cried in prayer and I’ve cried with pending questions in my heart about my season. Did I make a mistake? What if I hadn’t made that mistake? Did I miss God at certain points in my life? Could I have avoided this season of my life? Why was God letting me go through this phase? Or perhaps he warned me but I was too deaf to listen. I’d go on and on, angry at myself and at God. And there were days the only thing I could do was cry. Even if I sobbed like a baby, I didn’t care. It was the only way I could express my longing, pain, sadness, and desperation.
Like Hannah cried when Peniniah constantly reminded her of her barrenness. Just like Jabez cried out to God when He needed his story changed. Like David often cried when he was at a low point in his life yet God seemed far away.
It’s okay to cry. Let it all out.
And after my tears, I’d hear that still small voice in my heart. Not condemnation, just love.
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8
God’s got you. And He would always come through for you, regardless of how you may feel, or how much ache your heart may be going through. Even if you feel your mistake got you into your current season, he’s not a gloating Father. Just like the prodigal son whose reckless spending brought him to a place of misery, the Father was still willing to receive him back and only had love for him. God is ever eager to help you and provide grace for you in that season, no matter how it feels like.
Pray More
The reason why some seasons may remain unclear to us is that we’ve spent more time assuming for God than tarrying in prayer. To get answers to your questions, you must ask and keep asking until God says something. If he hasn’t said anything about it, it’s because you haven’t prayed long enough to know what he’s saying. I remember feeling stuck in a season more than I anticipated that I would and was upset that God was the reason why I was stuck. I thought I’d ticked all the boxes God requested from me but nothing seemed to be changing. Regardless of how everyone else tried to explain my season to me, I still had unanswered questions. All the answers felt like assumptions and not a direct clarity from God. So I grew frustrated with God and sought escape in other things outside of God. But it only made the season feel worse, not better. Because seeking escape doesn’t make the problem suddenly go away. It was still staring at me right in the face. Until I started to tarry in prayer and added fasting to it. Things got a little clearer, not a 100%, but I understood things better, and in the process, some situations changed.
Prayer changes things, it could be your heart or the situation.
But something definitely changes.
Whenever you’re going through a difficult season, tarry in prayer. It could take days or weeks or months you’d stay praying over it. Daniel spent 21 days praying and fasting to know when the desolation of Jerusalem would end when he noticed that God’s promise seemed to be taking longer than anticipated.
Jesus also told 2 parables to drive the point (of persistent prayers) home
The unrighteous judge and the woman - Luke 18:1-8
The Persistent Friend - Luke 11:8-9
If you read both parables well, you’ll discover that there were 2 common themes Jesus applauded. Boldness and Persistence. Not familiarity or sentiment. But persistence. Some of us may assume because we have an intimate relationship with God, or until we come into the full maturity of Christ he would answer us speedily. But that isn’t always the case. If so, Jesus wouldn’t emphasize the need to be persistent. Because that’s what faith is. It means you keep believing against all odds. It means you’ll stay on it and keep speaking it into existence because without faith it is impossible to please God.
Faith is not a coin you throw into a wishing well. It’s your ability to stay on one thing for a long time. Because desperate desires require desperate measures. That takes courage, focus, and consistency. A great example is Abraham who kept believing in God for a son against all odds and many other patriarchs of faith.
Don’t be afraid to reassess and start again
If that’s what you need to get yourself back on track, then just reassess and start all over again. Some difficult seasons may be due to some resistance to change from our end, perhaps in terms of beliefs, friendships, and faith. But sometimes, God needs you to be brutal about making some necessary tweaks and adjustments in your life.
You don’t have to permit everything and everyone. You’re in control of your life
So this season has had me starting again. In terms of faith, I’m currently unlearning and relearning about God’s love, his manner of life, and his truth. This has helped my season to be less burdensome. I’m learning to read the bible not through the lens I’ve been taught in the past, but just to take the scripture as it is and allow the Holy Spirit to brood over it. In terms of relationships, I’m reassessing and putting the necessary boundaries needed to keep me healthy spiritually, mentally, and physically. I’m learning to prioritize my spiritual, mental, and physical health when necessary and not assume I can do something I’m incapable of doing. I’m learning to prioritize God’s love for me above every intimidating thought of despair threatening to make me feel less.
Love does not enable bad behavior or psychological manipulation. Love does not accept anything false (for the sake of the gospel) pretending to be a lie. I’m learning to know the difference.
I’m learning to make new friends and choose those in my circle. I’m learning to be okay with those who don’t want to be in that circle and don’t want me in their circle.
I’m learning to live and let live.
In terms of my career, I’m looking forward to starting again, even though I have my fears but I’ve got God. I’ve always been worried about starting again. Why? Because it’s not easy. But sometimes it may be part of the changes waiting for you to burst into a new season that God has prepared for you.
No Season is permanent
Never forget that. Some seasons tend to look unending, but because God is on his throne, no season lasts forever and he has prepared us ahead for it. No condition is permanent. I’ve gone through some seasons in the past and when I look back, I’d wonder how I survived it. But God makes it bearable, and his grace is made perfect in our weakness so that we may end up declaring that God is our salvation and he is capable of saving us to the uttermost.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth is transformed and the mountains are toppled into the depths of the seas, though their waters roar and foam and the mountains quake in the surge. Selah
Psalm 46:1-3
Song of the Day: Make a Way by I Am They