Does God tell us who to marry?
In order to know God's will in marriage, people have often asked,
"Does God tell us who to marry?"
"Is God going to choose for me?"
How can I know his will for my marriage?
Understanding His will for us in relationships is important in building one. And the only way God's will can be done is when we are willing to lay down our will and accept His will for our marriage and every other area of our lives.
Are you aware God wants to lead us? His desire is that men will come to live for His glory and this can only happen as we surrender to his plans.
So according to this scripture, if you were to ask, 'Does God tell us who to marry?' I would say Yes.
But why? You can read more here:
Benefits of accepting God's will in a relationship
God wants His will to be birthed on earth
Since God wants his will to be done on earth, the parties involved in marriage must also be inclined to do His will. If they’re not, then the seed they’ll produce will likely go astray and be inclined to go against God’s will. God wants godly seed-Malachi 2:15 so He designed the family in such a way that the parents would raise the child according to God’s will and for God’s glory.
Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it
Proverbs 22:6
We currently live in a messed up world which resulted from Adam’s disobedience and his disobedience filtered into Cain who ended up killing his brother and leading his generation away from God. But we can change the narrative by marrying someone who would amplify our desire to obey God and seek his will above all else. When we do this, we will have no problem raising kids unto God’s glory.
Why can’t we choose for ourselves?
If we were to choose for ourselves, then every man would choose what is pleasing to the eye because no one knows the heart of man, except the Spirit of God. We all have our type when it comes to choosing people. But we all know falling in love with someone because of their outward appearance doesn’t guarantee success. People are deeper or shallower than what we see outwardly. Also, people only project what they want you to see, not who they really are.
Are you going to then base your entire destiny on a pretty face, a nice body or a good brain?
That good body may be too good to love you in your weakest moments. That intellectual mind may be too intellectual to bend to the entirety of God’s will and God’s ways. That pretty face may prefer to prioritize beauty products above kingdom materials. We may be too carried away ‘in lust’ to notice all these things, but God who sees the heart knows how far they’re willing to go and how it may end in tears. When we spend enough time praying about his will, he will direct our hearts and confirm the person he wants for us.
A carnal man chooses what he sees and cannot discern spiritual things. Besides, we don't know the depths of our hearts because the heart of man is deep. After the fall, Man became sensual and depended on his senses to live. But as we walk by faith, we give God the wheels of our lives. So we must be open to God who sees purely and without bias.
What if we’re attracted to each other?
Since the bible doesn’t give express instruction on God telling us who to marry, we are admonished to seek God in everything even if everything looks good. There’s more than meets the eye. I mean a marriage could make or mar us, so why go into such without praying about it? A healthy Christian should pray about everything rather than assume everything.
So what then does the bible say about marriage?
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
Here, this scripture paints a picture of liberty to marry anyone you want but Paul also said we are to use our liberty to serve God. Attraction isn’t hard once you meet someone you really like and you vibe with. I’ve met guys that we just vibed on our first meeting but within a short period of time, God made me aware they were not his will for me. You may like someone but if we are sincerely open to the HolySpirit’s voice, we’ll know if to keep trusting God regarding the person or guard our hearts against it.
Seek out God's will
Do not be unwise, but understand the will of God for your life.-Ephesians 5:17-19.
As we grow in the knowledge of God’s will, we submit our will to His. If God talks to us about loving our neighbors, food, clothes, career choices, and where to live, then why would He be silent on a weighty matter like marriage?
The widow is to marry in the Lord. This means any desire to marry an unbeliever should be crossed out. Even in the church, we must be cautious about the one God is leading us to. Anyone can claim to be a Christian and serve in church but the Lord knows His own.
I hope this post has encouraged anyone trusting God for their spouse to keep trusting and waiting on Him to give you the one he’s ordained for you. Knowing God's will and doing it is our purpose.
Don’t settle for less. Just keep chasing Christ and everything will fall in place for you.
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